Glory to Jesus! Recently I was asked to write an article for a magazine geared toward Christian leaders, and as I shared a particular story in it, I thought that I must share it with everyone.
It’s a story I’ve told countless times, not only in my first book, In the Footsteps of Jesus, but from countless platforms in ministry and speaking. As some of you know, I had the mind-blowing privilege of portraying Jesus in the 90’s film, The Gospel According to Matthew. And as some of you also know, it was an experience that took my life and spun it entirely around – even to the point of now dedicating my life to the making of Jesus… No Greater Love.
Well, this story is one of those life-spinning Matthew experiences – a story that, having experienced it, there just was no going back to my regular actor life. In fact, if there are four or five life-altering events, this is among them for me. It re-shaped my future, inside and out, unto this day.
If I may lay the ground work, as an actor, one of the keys to portraying a character accurately is grasping the character’s “point of view.” In other words, “what it all looks like” through the character’s eyes.
The world looks very differently to different people. Two people can look at the same, for example, homeless person, and have two completely different reactions. So a huge part of my job in playing Jesus was to somehow get a grasp on HIS perception – what the world looks like through his eyes.
So before the cameras were about to roll on one particular scene, I began praying, asking the Lord to show me this, because I hadn’t yet gotten a handle on it. And please understand, I wasn’t seeking him for “an experience” or vision or anything like that. I was just trying to gain understanding. And so I prayed – man, did I pray! – “Lord, show me what it all looks like through your eyes”…
It was the second day of filming. We were in a Moroccan village, setting up to shoot Matthew 11:20-30, where Jesus laments Korazin and Caperrnaum, ending with his breathtaking words, “Come to Me… I’ll give you rest for your souls.”
Having found the Lord only two years prior to Matthew, I tell you, I prayed during the filming like I’ve never prayed in my life. I was so aware that what I needed was not “great acting,” but a work of the Holy Spirit, unto the revelation of the heart of Jesus. And so I prayed. Man, how I prayed!
But before the cameras were to roll on this particular scene, I prayed a very specific prayer, something I’d never thought to pray before, but something essential to representing Jesus accurately. There I was, moments before, “Action!” praying with everything I was, “Lord, show me what it all looks like through Your eyes.”
I was looking at hundreds of crew, extras, Moroccan villagers… 99% of whom did not know Jesus. And what happened inside me on the heels of that prayer, there just are no words to adequately explain. It was like a shock of pain rifled through my heart such as I never imagined heart-pain could be. It was so deeply traumatizing, I just exploded in tears – and wept uncontrollably for more than an hour.
And in the middle of that, a Scripture rose in my heart, “He had compassion on the crowds because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd” (Matthew 9:36). In the ways the Lord deals with me, I knew He was giving me a tiny, billionth of a billionth glimpse of His heartbreak over anyone who would choose to live even one moment of life outside of His grace and care, His guidance and provision… His broken heart for lost people.
As you can guess, it was quite the moment. There I was in front of hundreds of people, weeping and broken, and unable to stop. I remember I went and sat down on a mud wall surrounded by villagers, and just cried.
The director came over to me, his name was Regardt but I called him Reg. He put his hand on my shoulder and asked if I was ok. I remember I was hardly able to even speak, and all I could think to say was, “It kills him, Reg. It just kills him.”
The broken heart of Jesus for lost people… So much deeper and so far beyond what any of us can even begin to imagine.
In closing, may I share part of an email that I received from an old friend just a few days ago. Bruce, I’m sure you remember my brother. He died last Monday. He was 43 & just could not stop drinking. He battled alcohol/drugs for 25 years & his body just finally gave out on a bus bench in San Diego.
And the living God weeps, and weeps…
Reach out, my brothers and sisters. The old song lyric is as true as there is truth, People need the Lord. They don’t need “church,” they don’t need programs, they don’t need strategies or denominations or preaching styles or “doctrine”… or even good Jesus movies.
They need Him, pure and simple. They need to understand his heart by seeing it beating through you and me, and through the way we handle them, and serve them, and hopefully cry tears over their brokenness and pain.
“It kills Him, Reg. It just kills Him.” Whether you’re an everyday believer or the leader of the nation’s largest church/ministry, I hope you don’t mind me saying, may also “kill” me and you.
Glory to the Name of Jesus!
Bruce Marchiano
12 Comments
Thank you for sharing this deep insight again, Bruce. We never grow tired of hearing what the Lord has done and is doing in and through you.
This reminds me a bit of something the Lord “said” to me right after 9-11. I was just weeping over all those deaths and lost souls, when I asked Him, “How can you stand it?” He said almost audibly, ” I CAN’T stand it,I died for it!” That quickly brought me back to the reality of his heart for all of us, which you also have so eloquently expressed in very many ways. I thank the Lord for those padded 2×4s we sometimes need!
May God bless you today!
Such a good word, Bruce! This is truly, in all it’s simplicity, what ‘it’ is all about~God’s undying love for the babies He created. May it pierce all of our hearts also~Amen & Amen
If we truly saw with the eyes of Christ, I do think that there would be no way that we could handle it, none. Praise Jesus, though, He does give us Spirit eyes to catch just a glimpse of what He sees, to spur us on with His Love and to let His Spirit shine, to allow His Spirit to work and draw all sin unto himself, and free His people from sin’s bondage. He wants us, He wants to gather us under His wing, He wants to wrap His arms around us, He wants to embrace us and He wants us to embrace Him. So throw open your arms to Jesus and throw open your arms to His people, both lost and found. Because, that is the heart of Jesus, doesn’t matter what you look like, doesn’t matter what you have or don’t have, doesn’t matter, all that matters is that you take Him up on His offer and believe Him. Jesus loves you and so do I.
Yesterday…driving…listening to Christian radio & Christian world news….the story…of a chap…being held…in a heavily Islamic place…because he is a Christian…in many months…without trial…or legal aid…his father visits…for a 10 minutes only…in all that time….he is so stuck…imprisioned…locked away…..but WE PRAY….suddenly…as i did so…urging God to free him..and gain international Glory…and so many other amazing flow-on effects that would occur……tears streamed down my face…as i experienced the utter…..VICTORY that is imminent…and the POWER was overwhelming….one person…alone in a vehicle…..crying out to The Almighty for a stranger…but a stranger ,…who…LOVES JESUS!!!!and NEEDS HIM RIGHT NOW!!!!!
This posting that I have read above is very special to me and it should be very special to every–one– who reads this too. Because it is so……. Do you even realize what we have read here???
I’ve read “In the Footsteps of Jesus” a very long time ago. But I have to say I am reading this as if it were the very first time. It cuts me to my heart….it stops me. I had to pull my “Footsteps….. book out again and take a look again.
What Bruce has written is worth repeating. It’s about Jesus–he is sooo worth it–is he not????
( I hope this is alright to do Bruce– I really mean it…..)
So I am quoting from Bruces’ book–”In the Footsteps of Jesus”…..(sections taken from pages 115,116,& 117).
As Bruce says with any one of us– “here comes _ _ _ _” So I say
“Here comes Bruce”…..
“It’s essential for an actor to grasp the character’s point of view. The world looks different to different people and therein lies the difference in people’s reactions and sensitivities. A good example is two people looking at the same homeless person.One’s heart is broken, the other’s get annoyed, resulting in two very different responses.
This “point of view” was something I had yet to tap into with regard to Jesus. I’d never considered it before, but that morning I was begging for it.
And please understand, I wasn’t seeking any kind of spiritual experience or vision. I was simply trying to grasp a mindset—his mindset—trying to get a handle on what those people looked like to Him 2000 years ago; what we look like to Him today, 2000 years later.
Everyone was swarming around me, paying no attention. I was pacing and praying and looking over the tides of faces, “Lord, show me what it looks like through Your eyes.”
This is where it gets difficult because I don’t have words to describe what happened in the next moment.
It was so fast—just a fraction of a fraction of a second—and I’m convinced the reason it was so quick was that the Lord was protecting me. And what I “saw” in that moment was not with my eyes—it was something in my heart. And the only way I can put it into words is to say it was
a sea of people living lives in ways He didn’t plan.
People living lives away from His love, away from His care; outside of His goodness, His embrace, His plans, purposes, and hopes for them.
It was so awful a thing—I don’t have words to describe to you how incredibly awful it was. I remember when it happened, it was as if the wind got knocked out of me; I couldn’t breathe, and my heart just broke. It broke on a level I never knew existed, and I just started shaking, and weeping…I would weep uncontrollably that day for more than an hour, completely unable to compose my emotions.
And in the pit of all that, as I stood sobbing and shaking, the Lord stamped a Scripture on my heart—and I mean stamped. It rose in me like nothing ever has; for lack of any better way to put it, it was as if it actually “came to life” in me. It’s a Scripture I’d read a thousand times:
When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd.
For the first time in my life, I understood what the word “compassion” means when it comes to Jesus Christ. I understood that it isn’t just feeling sorry for people; it’s a heartfreak so intense, so deep it’s like your gut is getting ripped open. It is a heartbreak that screams in utter agony for the needless, pointless pain of people— people who need only to turn to Him. What I felt that day was so incredibly tragic. And there can be no doubt what I tasted was just a drop of water in the oceans of the universe compared to what it truly feels like for Him. The compassion for people—what it all looks like through His eyes.
Young apostle Matthew, played by dear brother Matthew Roberts, saw it happen. He said by chance he was looking over at me when suddenly he saw my face change dramatically, and then I broke. He told me somehow, instinctively, he sensed what was going on, and stunned to disbelief, he whispered these very scary words to himself: “He’s living it.”
Matthew’s first reaction was to go to me, but Regardt was also watching from the scaffolding. He knew something special was going on, and he wanted to capture it on film. Technically things weren’t quite ready, but the moment was already happening so he took a chance and yelled, “Action!”
“Woe to you, Korazin! Woe to you, Bethsaida!” I screamed through trembling lips, with sobbing eyes and a gash in my heart. It was killing me. These people were all going to their death—they were all living in death—and they had no idea; and all they had to do was take his reaching hand. It wasn’t, “You heathens are damned!” It was, “Open your eyes! Save yourselves! Come to Me!”
It was a desperate scream of a parent watching his own child step off a curb in front of a moving car. If you can imagine that pain, that is what it was. THAT’S the heartbreak. THAT’S the compassion.”
And so I stop here. –And so I stop here….. And may I ask you using Bruces’ words….have you “closed your ears and listened with your heart”??????
(And yessss you will have to read that book–”In the Footsteps of Jesus”… won’t you if you have not already. I encourage you –please–read that book then watch the movie “Matthew” again. Please…)I am going to read this book again–I just have to.
You might say this was so over the top–this is sooo deep. You better believe it’s DEEP!!!!
Bruce was given a moment in time of “feeling” a glimpse of the heart of Jesus and we are being told about that moment…..
I mean do you realize –can you fathom this– does this move you–does this stop you….
Stop you to look at the one who loves you and aches for you soooo…
You know I almost get a sense that alot of christians/believers have this perception of God that He is sooo perfect (that he is), sooo all knowing (that he is too), sooo mighty (yes he is), sooo holy (so he is) that he couldn’t possibly feel the feelings of hurt. That Jesus only felt hurt when he walked the earth because he was human also–a man like you and me.But now….. There are many that may disagree with me but I believe he stillll hurts and is able to be hurt–yet sooo unlike anything we could possibly know. ( Bruces’ story is another confirmation of this–so special to me) And believing this –knowing this about him– (or mayby I wanted to know this and believe this) I have hungered I think most of my life……ooohh this is so hard to put into words…..
Well when I was flipping through the “Footsteps” book today I found a description of this very thing I’m trying to express here. On page 75 in the book–Bruce is telling how he was looking for material–let me quote from his book again….
“Second,I needed trustworthy material on the human personality of Jesus. But as I asked around, I was shocked to discover no one knew of such a book. Every suggestion I received missed the mark, always focusing instead on His divinity.”….
That grabbed me . I thought that’s it. This is the very thing I have tried to put into words so many times– what I…..
Well, I have been taught and have learned about his “devinity” since I was little and still learning and still loving it (and rightly so because my gosh–he is the living God and and and…yes there are times where I am very frightened of him–he is a Holy God!!!!)
But all of my life even (the years I was away from him )I’ve hungered to know Himmmmmm–not only about him but I wanted to know him–what does heee feel –what pleases him–what hurts him and so on. Not this higher power or force or the idea of God not this God so far away…sooo distant, etc….I want to know him, love himmmm and know himmmmm personally–very intimately –can I be close to him–this Holy God– “the most High God”.
Hey I’m going to stop now. hahahahaha!!! But does anyone know what I mean? Can you relate just a little???
Do you want to know him??? Not about him only but know him personally too? You say but I have to straighten out first–I have to fix things….Nooooo –don’t do that. Don’t. Do not wait… go to him now and talk to him–talk to him about all the things you’ve always wanted to talk to him about –tell him all about it. And tell him you want to know him personally –(just you & him).
I don’t know how to end this very lonnnng comment. But all I know is reading Bruces’ posting stopped me and I am looking at… I am looking at Jesus again. It reminds me of how much I always wanted to know himmmm and to be close to himmmmmm and to kiss his tears away and how I want to love what he loves. Which is people. Loving him is loving people–you cannot separate the two. And I am learning this –and I want to….You cannot love him but not love others and
And I am stopping now –I really am hahahahaha
okayyyyyyyyy
I remember that scene described in the book, and our pastor was just preaching this Sunday about having a hurting heart for the lost. Seems like I have a lot of praying to do. . .
I believe…the most tugging thing…on my heart was……he was in SOLITARY CONFINEMENT!!
for many many months……and this GRIPPED me…like a VICE!!!
Imagine…..we do not have to actually imagine this…as the likelihood…is remote!!
but
how many …in this “normal” environment….
feel….ISOLATED…..ALONE….SET APART….SOLITARY….and altogether….
CUT OFF!!!!
IMAGINE!!
Please….kids of God…..raise an anthem of Prayer and Praise for this dear brother….
who…..could DO with….a BURST of God….a real LIVE VISIT from our Precious Saviour….
who…knows exactly where he is…and what he suffers….systematic..and on-going…agonising…. torture!!
PUT YOUR GLORY ON DISPLAY LORD…and SET THIS CHILD FREE!!!!!AMEN & AMEN!!!!!
LORD!!!!
Jesus STILL feels that same compassion for humanity because He is STILL 100% human and 100% God! He didn’t cast off His humanity like dirty pajamas when He ascended to the right hand of His Father in heaven – He is STILL Jesus, the Son of Man, the Son of God. He has permanently identified with humanity, and therefore He is totally committed to us!
What Bruce reveals of the passion of Christ, the heart of Christs and how it is torn in two at the suffering of us all whose eyes aren’t open to see the extent of His grace and compassion is a rude awakening to reality in my mediocre spiritual life.
We, like timid creatures simply don’t trust God. We don’t trust the God we see in the churches, in sermons etc. Is there any wonder that we don’t trust God to save us.
Now aside from the body of Christians, is a world that does not know or have a clue about Him. They are masses of them feeling their way by braille as I have been doing. God is guiding us through these uncharted roads and keeping us from falling into ditches not leaving us for a minute. This is an abreviated form of my favorite texts about God’s promise in Isaiah “I will lead the blind by ways they have not know, among unfamiliar paths I will guide them I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth, these are the things I will do I will not forsake them” check this out in the Message Bible it will come alive. That is God’s promise to a hurting world. He also says He will not brush aside the bruised and the hurt and He won’t disregard the small and insignificant. But He will steadily and firmly set things strait. Oh how I praise God that He WILL deal with the ones doing the hurting. May that not be us. I pray amen.
Dearest Bruce, as the years go by , i keep reading your thoughts and the tears keep rolling up in me.
God has seen fit to send me through the lower end of society and has shown me that all men are indeed my brothers,and it started with your book and Matthew.
things are looking up in my life these days,and i just wont give up .
all my best to you in all HE leads you to do!!!
DENNIS McGILL
7-24-2010
just popping in to say that i’m so blessed and humbled by all your commments and contributions/insights. forgive me that i don’t often comment back here – there are just so many hours in the day, and i know you understand. but just to say, i am so honored to be surrounded by “such a gloud of witnesses,” you who love jesus deeply and pursue him with everything of heart and soul. praise jesus for you. the bottom line continues to be the bottom line – people need HIM. and so we unite to do everything we can to facilitate that, to open that door for the flood of his spirit to do what only he can do – save precious souls.
thank you, you who share, who support, who encourage and, more than anything, set yourself aside to seek jesus more deeply than is common. i can promise you, he is smiling. he’s smiling… because of you. glory to the name of jesus.
bruce marchiano
“If we could look through HIS eyes we would be more carefull in what we do, say and act on.I wish for that “voice ” each and every moment that we are awake. Like you said we should live in a way that people can see GOD “in” us. How i pray for that beauty!!!
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