Glory to Jesus! Recently I was asked to write an article for a magazine geared toward Christian leaders, and as I shared a particular story in it, I thought that I must share it with everyone.
It’s a story I’ve told countless times, not only in my first book, In the Footsteps of Jesus, but from countless platforms in ministry and speaking. As some of you know, I had the mind-blowing privilege of portraying Jesus in the 90’s film, The Gospel According to Matthew. And as some of you also know, it was an experience that took my life and spun it entirely around – even to the point of now dedicating my life to the making of Jesus… No Greater Love.
Well, this story is one of those life-spinning Matthew experiences – a story that, having experienced it, there just was no going back to my regular actor life. In fact, if there are four or five life-altering events, this is among them for me. It re-shaped my future, inside and out, unto this day.
If I may lay the ground work, as an actor, one of the keys to portraying a character accurately is grasping the character’s “point of view.” In other words, “what it all looks like” through the character’s eyes.
The world looks very differently to different people. Two people can look at the same, for example, homeless person, and have two completely different reactions. So a huge part of my job in playing Jesus was to somehow get a grasp on HIS perception – what the world looks like through his eyes.
So before the cameras were about to roll on one particular scene, I began praying, asking the Lord to show me this, because I hadn’t yet gotten a handle on it. And please understand, I wasn’t seeking him for “an experience” or vision or anything like that. I was just trying to gain understanding. And so I prayed – man, did I pray! – “Lord, show me what it all looks like through your eyes”…
It was the second day of filming. We were in a Moroccan village, setting up to shoot Matthew 11:20-30, where Jesus laments Korazin and Caperrnaum, ending with his breathtaking words, “Come to Me… I’ll give you rest for your souls.”
Having found the Lord only two years prior to Matthew, I tell you, I prayed during the filming like I’ve never prayed in my life. I was so aware that what I needed was not “great acting,” but a work of the Holy Spirit, unto the revelation of the heart of Jesus. And so I prayed. Man, how I prayed!
But before the cameras were to roll on this particular scene, I prayed a very specific prayer, something I’d never thought to pray before, but something essential to representing Jesus accurately. There I was, moments before, “Action!” praying with everything I was, “Lord, show me what it all looks like through Your eyes.”
I was looking at hundreds of crew, extras, Moroccan villagers… 99% of whom did not know Jesus. And what happened inside me on the heels of that prayer, there just are no words to adequately explain. It was like a shock of pain rifled through my heart such as I never imagined heart-pain could be. It was so deeply traumatizing, I just exploded in tears – and wept uncontrollably for more than an hour.
And in the middle of that, a Scripture rose in my heart, “He had compassion on the crowds because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd” (Matthew 9:36). In the ways the Lord deals with me, I knew He was giving me a tiny, billionth of a billionth glimpse of His heartbreak over anyone who would choose to live even one moment of life outside of His grace and care, His guidance and provision… His broken heart for lost people.
As you can guess, it was quite the moment. There I was in front of hundreds of people, weeping and broken, and unable to stop. I remember I went and sat down on a mud wall surrounded by villagers, and just cried.
The director came over to me, his name was Regardt but I called him Reg. He put his hand on my shoulder and asked if I was ok. I remember I was hardly able to even speak, and all I could think to say was, “It kills him, Reg. It just kills him.”
The broken heart of Jesus for lost people… So much deeper and so far beyond what any of us can even begin to imagine.
In closing, may I share part of an email that I received from an old friend just a few days ago. Bruce, I’m sure you remember my brother. He died last Monday. He was 43 & just could not stop drinking. He battled alcohol/drugs for 25 years & his body just finally gave out on a bus bench in San Diego.
And the living God weeps, and weeps…
Reach out, my brothers and sisters. The old song lyric is as true as there is truth, People need the Lord. They don’t need “church,” they don’t need programs, they don’t need strategies or denominations or preaching styles or “doctrine”… or even good Jesus movies.
They need Him, pure and simple. They need to understand his heart by seeing it beating through you and me, and through the way we handle them, and serve them, and hopefully cry tears over their brokenness and pain.
“It kills Him, Reg. It just kills Him.” Whether you’re an everyday believer or the leader of the nation’s largest church/ministry, I hope you don’t mind me saying, may also “kill” me and you.
Glory to the Name of Jesus!
Bruce Marchiano


